Thursday, February 16, 2012

Things We Cannot Change

Lately, we've been busy here, The littles and I.

Park trips
MOPs group
Grocery shopping
The gym
Play dates

Things aren't always this busy. We're usually tucked away within the walls of our little world writing out our days with routine play...what comes what may. Most days, the house is buzzing. Laughter bouncing from one wall to the other. Down the hall and back. It's quite a symphony of song.

The littles are favoring these little hair ties I picked up out of the dollar section at Target a few weeks back. Of course, they prefer to wear these over the multitude of bows I've made for them. They bring me the ties and say hair with a slightly slurred "r" that always tends to make me smile. Only because I did the same thing. Boy, do they make the cutest little Punky Brewsters.

It's laundry day today. The hampers are overflowing and the piles are touching the cieling...ok,not really. But, it has to get done. When you get a memo that the bottom of the knickers drawer has apparently been spotted, you better get to washin'! So that's my major chore for today. Loads of fun...Ha!

I don't know what the conversation was, but the littles were playing so real like today. I heard moma, baby, car, dog, and vroom vroom. I guess they were going on a trip, I wonder where. And just like that, they play so well together.

I'm making this tonight. I've had my eye on it for quite some time. Saved it on my Pinterest board. I like crock pot meals that allow me to stay busy cleaning so I can get it done. Can I get an amen? Who wants to stop to cook when they're in a cleaning groove? Not me. I'll let you know how it turns out.

This weekend is a three day. I love three days. Do you have plans? We've been talking about some ideas. Wandering way to downtown Charleston. The infamous King Street we hear so much about. I've heard they have a Pottery Barn store...I've never been in one before...sort of EXCITED!!!!!! We also thought of maybe going to the Aquarium again. We enjoyed it so much last time and the girls would have more fun now that they're a little bit older. We're not sure. Something fun, but not expensive. Who knows, we may just stay here and puddle around the house.

Daddy and Savannah doing push-ups together last night. 
There's been a lot on my mind lately. Can you tell by the randomness? I get chatty when I get bogged down. It's time for my rubber boots. *smile* No really, my mind has been drifting off and causing me to become focused on things I can't change. I've really been missing home. I miss my Moma and Daddy, my Bub and his family. Really bad. I know that's never going to change, I guess I just figured by now that I would have come to better terms with the whole thing. It's been almost 7 years since I left home. That's a long time. I pray everyday for peace but for some reason, I tend to wake the next morning with the same heavy feeling. I worry that I'll never make it back home and will miss out on all the good.

It wasn't until recently that my outlook was changed. I was in the midst of throwing a pitty party for myself. Here I am, almost 30 (not that it really matters), a mother to two children, a college drop-out, away from family, and zero friends. I don't have the luxury of a family dinner on Sunday with my parents, a quick stop by after work to say hello. So as I normally do, I was telling asking the Lord to send us home to be closer to family. Begging, pleading, whining.

As I looked around, I started to see things in a different light. I saw the toys on the floor. The pictures of my babies on the wall. The curtains that cover the windows are the ones Mike and I picked out together. The pile of blankets that were left from my cuddle session with my girls the night before. The tiny shoes that didn't quite make it to the shoe basket. The green scribbles on the wall. How selfish could I be? My family is right here. My home Why am I worrying about not getting home when I already am?
 God tells us to stop worrying...

 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.Matthew 6:33-34

My life is so full. I have so much more than I ever dreamed of having. I just have to let go of my worry and give it all to the Lord. In the book I'm reading, Calm My Anxious Heart, a woman that allowed worry and anxiety to overcome her heart began to use a visual aid to remind her to pray when she started to worry. A simple little box. Every time she started to worry, she would write it down and put it in that box. Each time she saw that box, she would remind herself that God was in control and that He carried her concerns and fears.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5-6

There things in life that we have no control over. Things that, no matter the amount of worry and burden it lays on our hearts, we will never be able to change. We have to remember that our life is God's hands. We have to let Him guide us at our weakest point and our strongest trusting in His grace all along the way. Even when we miss what used to be.

We can do the laundry to make empty hampers, we can go places to venture away from routine, we can try new things to spice up the old, we can also give our worries to God and let Him carry the things we struggle with just as He promised he would.  

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.


  1. I love your new design! You do such a good job with stuff like that!

    Praying for you, and wishing we lived closer to each other. It would be so fun to have play dates and mama chats!

  2. Oh my friend, you just made my heart hurt. You're right, though, for knowing that you are with your family. Maybe this feeling is a direct result of you reading that book? Maybe the enemy knows that God is doing a work in you and he doesn't like it. I can't promise you it will get better, but He is doing a great and wonderful work in you. Maybe that's the reason you're not "home" right now. Sorry, got long-winded there.

    As an aside, my Livy has an outfit made out of the same material as one of the shirts one of the girls (sorry, not sure which one) is wearing... the brown with flowers. Mmmm, love it so much. Makes me happy.

    PS Dinner looks absolutely nummy! No frozen pizza tonight!


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But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more Psalm 71:14