It's completely obvious that hormones have busted the dam when you find yourself in a puddle of tears over a tv show. I mean a full out boo-hoo fest in your living room, all by yourself I must add. Given the topic may have been a little heart wrenching (according to my terms not the hubby's). But really, I'm talking a not so pretty cry. The topic? Oh you know, sappy ol' mama daughter type stuff, I hope I get to see her grow up type lines, and she's growing so fast I don't want to miss a thing. Yeah. I know. Deep. I blame it all on being pregnant. It's the reason I felt so vulnerable or maybe it's that I can neither see or reach my toes. Hmmm...
I think because it's so true. They're not so little anymore and with a little one so close to arrival, it's even more evident that time has passed by almost too swiftly as to not caring about whether I've stopped to enjoy it. I do however realize that I am so very far from being the first, second or even thirteen-hundredth mama to feel this angst in her heart or sting in the pit of her stomach (even though I'm pretty sure that's a permanent gesture left from pregnancy--happy happy joy joy!)
Our weekend had a perfect blend of chaos to stir all these unsettled feelings astir. It's not often this happens. My girls have been sick. I haven't felt well thanks to baby. And I've realized how different things are going to be. Cue emotional high...on a more tearful tune. More begging of Daddy to stay home than ever before. Emotional support where ever I can get it.
I am not sure if I'm really ready. Ready or not...here it comes though.
After such an emotional day and tear felt showing all to myself, I'm taking my hubby's advice and tuning into something other than a drama filled tv show. If you need me, I'll be tapping into my fountain of renewal where I know I'll find the inspiration to press forward through whats in store.