Thursday, September 27, 2012

In the Still

Have you ever made an intentional effort to go out and look for a sense of peace? Just a plain ol' feeling of overwhelming calm? This past week has been far from a so called peaceful event but it's not been horrible. More of a growing experience per say.  
However, I ended up finding my peace in the stillness of what my camera lens captured. The quiet and calm of the images reflecting the day was very peaceful indeed. Make sense?  
The house lately is that of a lively bunch. Quiet and still are not words to correctly describe it's nature. Rocking and rollin', moving and shakin'. That's how things go. Change is coming soon, very soon, and it's almost as if the world is prepping me for it's ups and downs. I tell Mike, I'm ready for some peace and quiet...some stillness. Hence our newest green addition. Quiet calming if you ask me. (I'll just pretend you did...mkay?)
So far, I'm fairly certain that if I survive this part of my motherhood journey, it will only be because of the God's grace and have absolutely nothing on my part (that's for sure!) I try to remind myself as to take it one day at a time and that they (the Littles that is) will probably turn out ok despite all my many upsettings. So, if I make it to Friday ESPECIALLY THIS WEEK I think I deserve a hoo-rah party. Ok...maybe just a pat on the back. This motherhood thing is not easy. 
There are days when I wonder when things will return to the way they so called NORMAL.  Forgetting that this is today and today IS normal. When will things calm down and return to how they were yesterday? Forgetting that yesterday is yesterday and now is now and we can only step forward to welcome a new change and accept it as what it exciting new adventure of daily doses of normal. It's crazy how having little ones at foot can teach you ways of thinking you never thought were possible.   

 While there is tons of peace to be enjoyed at the end of the day through the lens of my camera, there is no mess, no laughter, no tunes of joy, no shrills of excitement. It's just not real. And all these are things I need when facing those day to day, non-peaceful messes.   However, if I left all this stillness and perfect calm in the shadows, I'd miss out on a connection that makes my heart skip a beat and land on solid ground. A true fulfillment.  

Anyhoo...this morning I am spending my still moments cuddled up with pockets full of tissues. The sickies have returned and hours of sleep have been lost thanks to a pesky cough. Here's to one more reason to cuddle my not-so-baby-anymore babies in my arms before the baby makes her arrival. 

Enough for now. It's sunny. There's a nice fall crisp in the air. Noses are running. Moma duties are calling.  


  1. So, so sorry about your sickies! And look at your silhouette! I love it!!

    Yes, you're right about this being the normal. Things will calm down, but they'll never be the same, which is sad and wonderful at the same time.

    I'm praying for you! MWAH!

  2. So exciting, you'll have your baby in your arms very soon :)

  3. Keeping you all in my prayers. I can close my eyes and recall those last days ... now fondly if you can imagine that. The last 3 weeks before Ayla arrived I had a nasty (as in just put me 6 feet under) sinus infection. No meds were advised and so I had to tough it out. One of those "DIG DEEP'.. soul searching times when I thought my headache was going to kill me. Somehow ... I made it. And you will too. You are so close and your new normal will be better than you could have dreamed. That baby is going to transform your life and somehow having a baby in your home will make you SMILE on even the hardest days. They are sent from God to help mamas see the rainbow on the cloudy day. And the sibling bond will knock your socks off. You have two little mama's in training just waiting for their first day of 'mama school'. They are going to show you how much they've learned from you. It will make it all worth it. HUGS!


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But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more Psalm 71:14