“Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared!” Luke 24:31
How strangely it feels to get caught up in life's swift currents. Like the rapids of change. They're unexpected and we are unaware.
The past two weeks have been tough. No, really, who am I kidding? ! They've been hard. Like extremely hard. However, I've learned so much through all that's gone on. Little lessons that I needed to learn and all of which played out because He said so.
There have been many times I've wanted to run away and shut the door. Times I've wished that closing my eyes tight to the sights and events in front of me would recharge or more preferably put me in a more desirable location...say a dock, on a lake, in the evening sun, with a good book and a cold glass of sweet tea. That would be the easy route.
Our trip to the hospital this week took me back to a bitter sweet part of my life story. One filled with monitors and IV fluids, vitals on high alert, and fear on a swift rampage. Once again, I sat and watched my baby hooked up and sick as ever with absolutely nothing for me to do. Fear swept me up and left me feeling as if I was totally alone. I remember telling someone that I felt as if I was being tested. That's exactly what it felt like. I found myself wondering what it was I did that made me deserve such trialing events.
"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."James 1:3-4
I was scared for Savannah, worried about Hope, concerned for Ellie and stressed over making sure everyone was taken care of. Prayer was my only outlet. Crying out through my struggle when I felt alone in my fear. I felt like the deciples in Luke 24 that were so upset about losing their Mesiah. They were covered in so much grief that they couldn't see Jesus right before their eyes.
Those few days, I was blinded by exhaustion, fear, and frustration with the Lord. But I know now that I was never alone. I may not have seen him, but he was there. I may not have felt him, but he was there. Even in my doubt.
It's hard sometimes to hold strong to your faith in Christ when everything seems to be going wrong. It's hard to look to him for that strength to pull us through No matter the situation, the answers will never be found on our own accords. Only He can provide the light and the way.
John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life..."
Let the currents so swift in their sinful nature lead you to the only rock that stands true and sound. He's in your corner.