My Joy

My best thoughts come to me along the days' border. At that point where what's done is done and all the new is waiting. Yeah that's where my best...well, my deep comes out. You see right now my house is quiet. I hear nothing but this rambling brook of thoughts God has given me. Three in the morning and the wheels are turning. Rocking away at my motherly duties. Across the room, I see a sleeping baby and her Daddy nestled tight not too far in front of me. And my heart is overwhelmed with so much joy that I feel like I should be sharing it with everyone I meet. Even the disgruntled cashier that for some reason dislikes chocolate cookie covered faces that greet her checkout line every Wednesday with high hopes of catching a smile. Maybe she'd like a cookie too. Hmm. Never thought of that.

Anyhoo...

Where was I? Oh! My joy high! Yeah its up there. Need I be worried. Nah! Its much more desired than the worry of any postpartum depression that I feared cause you just never know what the Lord has in store for your life (right little one??) I simply have so much to be thankful for right now and honestly what better season.

However as I sit here in the midst of all this joyful peace in the wee hours of the morning, I can't help but coming back to how grateful I am for him. For this man. This crazy, exciting, outgoing man.  Through this entire pregnancy, delivery and welcome home adjustment, he's been nothing but supportive. 

He's done everything able to help me feel better, chin up and move along to reach the finish line.  Now that Ellie's here, he's still just as supportive. My emotions are still going strong and he's never too far away to get me smiling or to offer reassurance that I'll be normal again soon. Normal? Ha! Has he seen the reflection the mirror shows me lately? Ok...as close as possible right. *smile*

I haven't gone a day without reminding him how precious he is and how much he really means to me. God did a great job (as if less was expected) in finding someone to be my better half.  He may not be able to calm the seas but he sure does a great job at smoothing the bumpy roads for me. He goes back to work this weekend and those fears of doubt are starting to flood my heart again. But just like that, he smiles and they disappear. I've got this. We've got this. It'll be OK.