Tuesday, February 26, 2013


You know, I'm not supermom.
I've never claimed to be. 
However, I do strive to do the best I can at this Moma bit. I don't try to replicate anyone else because I know that it's my own groove and jig that's gonna get me from A to B. I try to get by on my own doings because in the end, it's me that has to take care of what's in front of me. 

Some days are better than others. Some days I rock it out like you wouldn't believe. Others...well...it's a minute by minute process that feels as if the end of the day will never appear which in the end it always does. I have a lot of struggles on my plate right now. Not just as a Moma but as a wife and woman of God as well. It's a tough bit to chew but I know that the Lord is guiding me and building me up and giving me strength to fight forward. 

So, today, I'm voicing my struggles because I'm pretty sure that there's someone else that may fighting the same battle and maybe, just maybe, we can wade through it together.


--Exercise. Ellie girl is almost four months now. I've been to the gym twice. I just don't want to go. I'm not sure if it's fear or what. I know it'll change but right now it's a battle.

--Battles. This war that's going on between the girls and I is tearing me apart. I love having fun, being silly, and dancing around the room. I haven't done that in a while because everything is a tantrum, a fuss, a I don't want to do that with you or her, I'm gonna say no because I know that's what you don't want to hear.   Ugh. It's tough.

--Motivation. I'm losing it. I'm finding it much easier to forgo everything and just sit. No to the gym. No to the girls favorite kitty game. No to story time. No to this, that and what ever deserves an ounce of my energy. No motivation what-so-ever. 


--Desire. There is none. My time is so packed with things that I'm running behind on that the desire to fit anything else in there is zilch. I thought it would be cool to try and take some classes since I'm home all the time, but I can't honestly think how I'd do that. I emptied my closet of all my scrapbook stuff, downsized my fabric collection and tossed all of the randoms that could be turned trash to treasure. 

--Getting to Church. By the time we get there the only thing I want to do is sleep because I'm exhausted from the ordeal of getting there. 

--Church. I'm pretty sure it's because I haven't been in a few weeks or maybe not. Maybe it's the devil intervening where he shouldn't. Maybe it's because I feel trapped and I just don't want to spend any more energy that I have to during the day mainly because of the third struggle listed above. Maybe it's because I still don't feel 100% about the church we're at. I don't know. There's something missing and I haven't quite figured it out yet. So as of last week, I haven't been to church in almost a month and a half. Which also bothers me and makes me feel horrible inside because the girls are also not going. Talk about burdening. 

--Marriage. We're not struggling so don't fret. I'm just trying to figure out the balance between my Moma hat and Wifey hat. When to make a switcheroo for the other. I don't want to use the baby as an excuse but I know I have more focus on being a Moma more than a wife these days. So, I'm working on finding that balance. 

--Finances. Trying to pull things together and make thinks work for the better is such stress. 

That's it. Not a lot but I feel better putting it out there. Maybe you feel the same. Maybe not. If you do though, email me. We'll chat and hopefully be able to lift each other up and raise one another's spirits. If you don't want to chat about, just send me a wink and a nod and I'll send up a prayer for you. 

Thanks for listening. 


  1. Oh Kristen, I feel you on so many of these. Working out, battling with my toddlers over EVERY.little.thing, trying to find a balance between spit-up-on mama vs romantic wifey, motivation...right now, I SHOULD be working on organizing/purging so we can get ready for our move, but all I can think about doing is resting on the couch! Yikes!

    You are doing a wonderful job being mama and wife. Don't forget that. God is so much bigger than we are, and even though it can feel hard and dark and discouraging, He is able. And always gives us the strength we need. I'll be praying for you! And am always here to shoot encouraging emails back and forth - cause goodness knows we can always use a good Word, eh?

    Sending a big hug and wishing we could sit together over a hot cup of coffee and chat while our kids played together ;)

  2. I can't even begin to understand all the stresses that you have in your life.
    It makes me sad to know that you are feeling guilty for not attending church with your family. You are a very strong faith-filled woman who LOVES her Lord and Savior. Church is important, yes, but instilling those littles with what it means to be a person of faith in this world. . .to love and serve others. . .that's just as important for you and your family right now. Things will get back into the swing of things. God is fully aware of all your struggles. . .He knows your exhaustion, your pain, your frustrations.
    He loves you and your family.
    We love all of you.

  3. Oh girl, I understand and am facing many of the same struggles! I'm so sorry! I wish so much that we lived closer and could be friends in real life. Motherhood is a tough and wonderful job. I'm praying for you and would love to email back and forth to encourage each other. xo

  4. You are not alone! I think every mother struggles with guilt and exhaustion and lack of motivation and then guilt that you are not motivated which leads to even more exhaustion. It's a constant cycle, huh?

    And those fights between kids? It makes me want to scream. Generally my kids love each other and enjoy playing together, but the picking and the tattling drive me bonkers.

  5. You are definitely not alone, I think a lot of us women/mom/wives out there feel the same struggles in some or all the areas you mentioned.

    I don't do gym, I just don't have the motivation to go out there. But I do Zumba at home and I LOVE it, it's great exercise, it's like dancing and maybe your girls would get into it with you.

    The fights between kids...I don't know....mine are about to turn 14 and 10 and they bicker constantly, some days I want to run for the hills. It's just normal with kids, wish there was a way out of it though lol

    A few years ago, I was feeling exactly like you, completely overwhelmed and with no motivation or energy, I would wake up in the morning and with two little ones within an hour, I was ready for bedtime and would find myself wanting to cry because it was so many hours away. One thing my husband did was that he took the kids every night, for an hour and a half or sometimes two, and he played with them, or read to them, or whatever....and I, took a shower, put on pj's, sat in my bedroom by myself, either read a book or watched some TV or whatever. It did WONDERS for me, truly replenished my soul and gave me the strength I needed to do it all again.

    Hang in there, you're not alone. :)

  6. Sending you a big ol hug girl. The "struggle cycle" is what I call it. It will come and go and every time it does you'll be that much more ready for it. You are doing the best you can and I'm sure that's pretty darn good. Keep your chin up... tomorrow is another day!

  7. What an honest post. I am RIGHT THERE with you, dear. The mommy/wife balance is tough. From the depths of our souls we give EVERYTHING to our kids. Not much left over. I had such hopes of making it to the gym. Not a chance. It is just really tough to leave a nursing baby, for one. And then the energy. Where is the energy?? I do have hope and faith it will return one day. That's what I hold onto. And, to posts like these - knowing from you and the other comments that we are not alone. Big hugs!

  8. I am right there with you. I have a 3 year old and it seems like every other day is a bad day. I also have an 8 month old and I'm pregnant again. All I want to do is sit and do nothing, then I get so mad at myself at the end of the day because I have done nothing, and the house is a mess. I want to start getting up before the kids and having quiet time, but as soon as I move they get up, so I have resorted to sleeping until they wake up, which doesn't help my motivation, ha! email anytime loriaisom @ yahoo . com

  9. Considering all that you are struggling with (as so many of us are) you sure are doing an amazing job. Seriously amazing!!!


I love hearing from friends. Tell me what you think..God bless!

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more Psalm 71:14