I've been trucking all through this house working away not even realizing that the week is passing me by. I've crossed things off my to do list and played like I've never played before. Remember when I said here that this year was going to be different? Do you remember?
Well, I'm holding true to my word. I feel it yall. It's an amazing the since of change I feel inside my little self. I can truly say I've been able to experience a lot more of those "awhhhhhhhh" moments. And that's a soft tone, not a high pitched, loud, top of the lungs tone mmkay? This "awhhh" is a serene, calming, prop my feet up on the couch type of "awhhhh."
Why? Pftt! Well here's why...I just let it all go. Yep!
I opened the front door, stuffed all my worries and stressors inside a balloon, and said,
"Dear Lord, I'm sending them up to you."
Now...why it has taken me this long to completely lean on Him, I"m not quite sure. But I finally have and now I feel "awhhh." It's wonderful. It's awesome! It's fun! It's lively! It's my life....and it's beautiful! It is all God.
Every mother is allowed her moments...you know that one where despite all the planning and preparation you've made...the meltdown is just gonna find it's way through. Yeah, that one. Here lately, my "mother moment" was occurring way too often. I felt horrible. I felt selfish. However, I couldn't help it. It was then that I knew something had to change. The feeling that I got when I finally realized what I needed to do was almost (almost) unexplainable. The tension in my shoulders seriously unwined. The tears I was pushing back went away. The rush to get to the next tick on my to do list slowed down. I felt God with me and it was amazing.
Instead of greeting the mornings with the mindset that I don't have enough time to get things done, I now wake up and say...let's have fun!
March is bringing a lot of hurt and pain with it this year. This will be Hadley's second birthday and Mike's surgery is on the 23rd. It's a big deal. It's going to be rough. But we're gonna make it. I love my Lord and I know deep in my heart and soul that He has everything in control. So, oncee again, I'm leaning on Him. During my darkest times and most sorrowful moments, my Shephered upholds me and comforts me. Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Do you Lean on Him?